So apparently there is some massive cosmic fuckery afoot. Full moon in my sign (a super one at that) with a Mercury Retrograde chasing its heels. Gemini is ruled by Mercury. Why do I feel like I am about to get double fucked and probably not in a fun way.
I am honestly not feeling so shit hot right now.
This too shall pass, it always does. But I am definitely in a lower mood than usual.
Everything is coming up drab grey and meh.
I did a financial projection earlier in the month and due to circumstances beyond my control it will be a miracle if I hit it. I do believe in miracles. So we shall see. And I am so much better off than I was a few months ago, for that I am so very grateful.
I saw a quote today that lifted my spirits temporarily…
“Your problem has already been solved, you just haven’t gotten to that point in time yet.”
Which pairs nicely with a glass of wine and the Dalai Lama “Everything is as it should be.”
I would never be so foolish as to exclaim anything like I wish I didn’t feel energy shifts like this.
BUT, I do not want to be oblivious. Some people feel all the things all the time and call it a curse. It’s a gift.
There is a diamond in this flaming bag of dog shit on my doorstep. The trick is to let it burn down to ashes so you don’t get your hands all covered in poop.
There’s a shift, I can feel it. Things are changing, and the internet confirmed what I already know. The moon is doing a thing, laws yes M-O-O-N* spells fuckery, and Mercury is right behind it doing it’s backwards dance across the sky. I do need to find one of those articles that explain the good things.
I bought a new phone yesterday. It was overdue. Ate all my contacts and the last remaining video of my kitten who I loved dearly and got scooped up by the owl gods when I still lived in the country. She was a dog-cat and a constant source of joy.
I threw a massive tantrum.
I hate change. I also have my period, haven’t slept much, have a gaggle of bitches at work giggling behind their hands at me, a boyfriend who is MIA, I am having a massive problem with ingrown hairs on my most precious of body parts and woke up to a cold sore, so I feel like a monster.
I remember writing an article a few months ago maybe, something about the shower. I had my first day of having my body back after a similar series of unfortunate events and I was ecstatic, nice that I left myself a reminder. I’ll be whole again soon. It will be a good day.
I have to change my thinking.
New phone, fresh start.
No mess of old texts ‘reading through your messages, my favorite way to die’ (K Flay, Blood in the Cut)
A brand new memory card to fill with selfies and filthy memes.
No more weird lags. missed messages and dropped calls.
If I am to be sick and out of service, this is a good week for it. I am only working the one job and boyfriend is nowhere to be found. Next week is doubles and I will be healed up by then. Then the week after is vacation and the real healing will begin. Nothing like sunshine and ocean to fix eeeerrrrrting.
I packed and planned pre retrograde, so travels should be safe.
It’s only 22 days and then we get a free pass until the next one. My job is to just sit back and watch it burn, then sift through the ashes.
I don’t know what to do about bf right now. But swinging a wrecking ball during shark week on a full moon on the cusp of a nasty retrograde seems kinda like throwing a grenade into a nuclear reactor. Big bang, bad fallout.
(see Fukishima, a Retrospective…this is how I lost Gelfling, lesson learned.)
So for now I will hush, shush, breathe, sleep and just worry about getting better.
This cocoon was getting itchy anyways.
I took a little journey to the unknown
And I come back changed. I can feel it in my bones.
Lord Huron, Meet Me in the Woods
*Stephen King, The Stand