The first rule of empath sex is we should talk about empath sex.
The second rule of empath sex is seriously, talk about it.
The third rule of empath sex is if you are an empath and you haven’t tried it.
You have to fuck another of your kind.
After the flood all the colors came out.
It wasn’t colors, not even sure if it’s the truth.
I do know there was a flood and I have been drowning.
I wish I could stay mad at him but I cannot.
Covenant of the Cougar being what it is (they know not what they do so just let it happen)
And him being what he is.
Doing that thing with his tongue, and where was I again?
So here is what happened.
Young Un the first and I were both trying to relationship at the same time, with others.
We have spoken of this before and admitted that neither of us are very good at it.
I was scared of the boy I liked and I used Young Un to learn from and as a vessel to hold all of my feelings, instead of telling the one I had feelings for. He was my example of ‘where I went wrong before’.
He was the wrong one to lean on for advice. I can see that now. Chosen for his age and not the outcome.
Young Un found a girl who was amazing except that one thing. They weren’t sexually compatible.
I probably wasn’t the right one for him to lean on either considering we’re sparky.
Neither one of our others worked out, so he is coming over tonight.
We are both sex-eaters and empaths.
We are both starving. I have been crying for the better part of 2 weeks now and I am running on empty.
I have been masturbating as much as humanly possible and it feels like eating tofu. I am craving steak.
As beings who are open to the emotions of others to the point of tripping around in their feelings and getting them tangled up in our own, when are we more open to each other than when we are quite literally, physically tethered to someone else?
Took a year I think before I realized the nervousness I felt when I was with Young Un the first wasn’t my own. We talked about it from a safe distance, he found me intimidating and I internalized it as my own.
Thinking back, it wasn’t a bad thing at all really. His youth and nervous energy was really good food. Like static electricity. What shorted everything out was when I was sending back what I thought was mine instead of what I usually emit, which is calm and pink and unconditional. Compassion with some passion on top.
I am still learning.
He sparked the article Blowing and Glowing. Wait, not just him. There was a perfect storm.
“We cannot and should not fuck outside of our kind.
This is now my divine law and I have followers. I need to make t-shirts and write it in the sky.
There is a spark that exists inside of some of us. If we open ourselves up sexually to ‘the others’ (aka the spark-less) ours dims.
If they are the void kind of humanoid we can literally get sick from it, sad, lost and weakened. They steal our light.
The equal and opposite is therefore true, if you can find someone whose fire and lightning feeds your own that is how stars are born.”
Young Un the first was lacking lightning with his girl. He was lacking and lost.
I was not. I tasted something new, more than I am used to. I was full and found.
It took me forever to figure out why sex with some people was just better. Like mindbogglingly better.
I have come to realize, sex is an energetic exchange.
For me/us/we end up telepathically transferring our higher emotions through touch.
Like speaking in tongues, channeling something bigger than us, godlike.
There is French slang for orgasm petite morte translates to ‘little death’.
And like death in the tarot it isn’t a finite ending, it signifies change.
It’s a conduit that takes me closer to the divine. But only when it’s divine.
If someone is void we end up pouring ourselves into nothing and being drained. There has to be a back and forth.
“Honey, you are young, you don’t have to settle down right now and you don’t have to settle at all.”
I don’t like his exes. They are mean to him and I cannot wrap my head around it.
He isn’t fond of mine either. “Fuck that guy, you deserve better. Anyone who has the privilege of your company is fortunate indeed.”
When I get that feeling, I need sexual healing.
If I could go back, I would do things differently.
He was giving me the best advice he could from his perspective and doing what I asked, which was just keeping me grounded.
There is no conspiracy here.
Just two people who have an empathic connection wandering around lost, hurt, hungry.
I haven’t fed him in 2 years and he still raves about how I cook (and taste).
I’m making steak tacos.