I believe this and live it with my whole heart.
This can be compatible with my longer term mantra which reads ‘if you build it he will come.’ Field of Dreams. I am building something but I don’t need to be cloistered in a nunnery, or my office to get there.
I posted this the other day.
My sunshine caught me in a moment of bliss. An old friend messaged and said I looked stunning and happy.
I said “I was at the beach, fresh out of the water, flirting with a 27 year old Scorpio. In other words, utterly in my element.”
I have a penchant for finding Scorpios. Or maybe they find me.
Whether it be on a balcony overlooking Bourbon Street nestled in a boy’s lap whispering secrets, coveting what I saw every day aka Hot Neighbor, Young Un the First seeing just pictures of each other and declaring we wanted that one, once upon a Sunday, that friend of mine with a purdy mouth or this new Thai Fighter I found.
They’ve all read the Handbook I wrote and declared that I knew what I was talking about.
The new one said so and I replied, “Everyone needs a hobby.”
He proceeded to fuck me in that perfect/intense way Scorpios are prone to do.
But it’s deeper than that.
Messages with another friend this morning…
Him: So what’s your Scorpio doing?
Me: Being cute as fuck.
I am currently writing a thing about how I have a certain level of expectations based on age and sun sign. And although I am not punishing the new ones for the behavior of the old I do find myself pleasantly surprised when a new one ups the bar.
Him: Those are always fun moments. Being surprised in a good way.
Me: Yes. This.
He messages me more frequently and is more attentive than I expected.
Him: Hmmmm so maybe rethink the Handbook?
Me: We had a moment where I was trying to leave and respect his work/sleep schedule and he said ‘one more story’, 5 more minutes.
Him: I keep waiting for the rug to be jerked or the ice water to fall on me. That IS fucking cute
Me: I know right? He asked me to come over the very next night and I actually had to send him a message saying I didn’t know him well enough to read if that was sarcasm or not.
I get that I wasn’t expected. I kinda showed up outta nowhere.
He has work and goals and man-bonding shit to do. This is where past lessons are useful. I understand.
It could have gone the other way and he could have said ‘this wasn’t in the plan for me’, still could. So I understand your rug analogy.
(The Him I’m speaking to has a Scorpio of his own, I may be chairing that support group I have joked about joining)
Me: If I know anything about Scorpios, and I do…just take it as it comes. They don’t lie. It’s beneath them. They need space sometimes and will say so. We just have to respect it. Let them know it’s really okay.
Him: She loves that I can see her. I notice things and it drives her mad, but she loves it too.
Me: Yuss. They do so very much love that. (Everyone does)
The ones I’ve known seem to function on a different plane of awareness. Like alien visitors from another planet. They don’t understand even the whitest of lies or sugar-coating shit. They observe and see a lot of bad in the world. It weighs them down. So if someone can come along and accept them as-is, rejoice in their idiosyncrasies, show them kindness, understanding and enthusiasm it makes them open up and show these beautiful souls hidden under armor.
Him: That’s basically it, yes.
Me: Everyone loves being noticed, and it is a huge bonus when the noticing is of the quiet things left unsaid.
Oh honey. I could teach a course, you know this. And as of late, if a pretty boy moth comes towards my flame it’s almost a guarantee that when the birthday conversation arises October 21st to November 21st will be the answer. To which I reply, of course you are. Come here boy.
Thai Fighter and I were talking after dinner, when he said November 17th, I felt my eyes flashed high beams and his flashed right back.
Him: Jesus, if the universe decides this one is a no, I’m not sure I could handle another Scorpio
Me: He read the article and said it was spot on…
Oh honey. Good luck with that, they are harder to quit than heroin.
Those of us who do not lie make them feel better. This world really is shit and we are little islands of safety, comfort and joy.
Him: You know that is her biggest thing. No lies
Me: As much as they are wonderful jewels of sexy awesomeness, they need us too. It’s a good secret club to be part of.
Him: I like this club.
Me: I find they bring out my most calm and confident self. Insta-Zen. No bullshit, no games. It’s nice. I need a rest too, and to be fed and I am totally writing an article as we are speaking. Ha 🙂
Truth be told I have never fancied being some queen on a throne with every whim satisfied or riches placed at my feet.
I like my books, movies and men with plot twists.
I enjoy the work, figuring things out, reading the subtle subtexts. I love being challenged and tested. I get off on figuring things out and adapting. I enjoy being understanding and kind. I relish sitting back and watching what people do on their own. I have no desire to influence anyone’s behavior. My satisfaction lies elsewhere. My life is full of organic, ecstatic movie moments because I let things happen.
You flipped the script and shot the plot (Sedona, Houndmouth)
And that is just fine by me.