I feel like Jacob Two Two meets the Hooded Bill Murray on Groundhog Day part two, the fucking sequel.
I already know what is going to happen.
Oh Saturn, you Titanic re-hasher of lessons.
Cronus, father to all the gods I know and love.
The devourer of children, mostly his own.
He is the Lord of History (Repeating).
Fuck it, he is the King.
Lord hear our prayer.
Saturn Return, as I was taught, occurs in your 29th year and every 29 years until you die. Saturns re-enters your sign and stays for 7 years. This occurrence heralds a new life phase, but first, all lessons re-hashed, re-learned, re-taught, returned and repeated.
“Poor old Michael Finnegan begin again”.
I spent the 7 years I should have been in school hiding out in the damn Bell Jar/Thunderdome that was the farm. Crying, fighting, throwing tantrums, skipping class to get high, A.D.D. to the enth degree. Might as well have been Helen Keller, the early years, wildling child. “you aren’t just blind, you are deliberately blind.” American Horror Story, Coven
And on the 7th year, I left.
None the wiser.
Just like Mr. Thompson, my grade 9 math teacher, who watched me flail, Mr. Saturn took pity on us and passed me with a marginal grade. Pity or pride that I managed to cling to the mortal coil. Who knows.
“Good job honey, you sorta made it. See you in 4 years.”
The second part was written in a language I had yet to learn called ‘the future’. I got mired down in every shitty moment unaware of the passage of time.
The past serves a purpose, but I think we misuse it. We carry way too much baggage that belongs to others. It’s really not your fault you got treated that way, except you let them. So don’t let them. I allowed myself to fall apart so I could be rebuilt, better, faster, stronger. I made a firm decision to be myself. I was struggling to find some divine purpose, some (astro) logical reason for this mess, this stress, picking the stars apart looking for hope.
“I wonder if the stars regret me, I’m sure they’d like me if they only met me.” Kate Rusby
Precedents are set to be broken and bent.
There is so much more than we can imagine.
Saturn is in trine and transit. Going direct and retrograde with alarming frequency. November 2nd 2014 until 2017. Sounds about right.
When researching for this article I learned Saturn is exalted in Libra and Gemini has no exaltation. I beg to differ, I am exal-fucking-tation incarnate.
Globally we have lessons coming in double time, being alive right now seems hauntingly familiar. If you live with ghosts, they are boogeying right out of the closet. Dance with them, ask them what they want, M.Night Shamaylan got that right. Our karma is of the instant variety and epiphanies are feeling like rumble strips, reminding us that we are indeed on the road and to slow the fuck down.
It’s déjà vu, all over again.
But I don’t like this loop, I want a new one. I want back on my rollercoaster, this carousel sucks.
Tell me teacher what’s my lesson. ~ Tears for Fears
If I needed help remembering, well I got that too. There was a dress rehearsal and I blew my lines.
I get a chance to do it again, the curtain will go up, all will be well. I know this.
“Never underestimate the power of blind faith. It can manifest in ways that bend the laws of physics or break them entirely.” (True Blood)