Brave Bravery and the Penguin (a retrospective)

May 7, 2015


*I published and pulled this 4 times in February. It remained hidden, until today.

It needs to breathe. I need to breathe.

I said it out loud instead.

It didn’t work out, I never had a chance.
He wanted something else with someone else, somewhere else the whole time.
I was just a way to pass some time.

Cosmic comeuppance I suppose. I have been halfway out the door in every relationship I have ever been in, except this one.

Karma karma karma.


3 things happened.

Someone got brave.
Someone redefined bravery.
And a penguin threw up.

The following is Rob Brezny’s Freewill Astrology Horoscope for Libra 25.02.15


Take inventory of the extent that “No” dominates your life. Notice how often you say or think: 1. “That’s not right.” 2. “I don’t like that.” 3. “I don’t agree with that.” 4. “They don’t like me.” 5. “I’m not very good.” 6. “That should be different from what it is.” For help in retraining yourself to say “Yes!” at least 51% of the time, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.


SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
Beauty and Truth Laboratory researcher Firenze Matisse traveled to Antarctica. On the first day, the guide took him and his group to a remote area and left them alone for an hour to commune with the pristine air and unearthly stillness. After a while, a penguin ambled up and launched into a ceremonial display of squawks and stretches. Firenze responded with recitals of his favorite memorized poems, imagining he was “engaged in a conversation with eternity.” Halfway through his inspired performance of Thich Nhat Hanh’s “Please Call Me by My True Names,” the penguin sent a stream of green projectile vomit cascading against his chest, and shuffled away.

Though Firenze initially felt deflated by eternity’s surprise, no harm was done. He soon came to see it as a first-class cosmic joke, and looked forward to exploiting its value as an amusing story with which to regale his friends back home.

Beauty and Truth Laboratory researcher Michael Logan was the first person to hear Firenze’s tale upon his return from Antarctica. “You might want to consider this, Firenze,” Michael mused after taking it all in. “Penguins nurture their offspring by chewing food—mixing it up with all God’s enzymes—and then vomiting it into the mouths of the penguin babies. Perhaps you weren’t the butt of a cosmic joke or some Linda Blair-esque bad review, but in fact the recipient of a very precious gift of love. Who knows?”

Now Firenze has two punch lines for his tale of redemptive pronoia.


Bravery = movement anyways.

I wonder what it sounds like when a penguin throws up.

Probably a lot like this.

I love you.

I decided this.

I have been with you sick, well, happy, sad, here and gone. You are who I think you are.

I fell in love with you at the bar with the lumpy couch, thank you for whatever it is you did to me. I fell more in love with you on the stoop outside of work with your face in my belly. You thanked me for whatever it was I did to you.

Even if nothing comes from this, you have my gratitude. You were the first man I felt comfortable being completely myself around, you made it safe. You raised the chivalry bar back to where it should be, I won’t settle. I have also redefined honesty and unconditional because of you. I like where and who I am, you are part of that. Thank you.

I untangled myself from someone I loved for a long time, my whole life really. This is how I know exactly what it feels like to love someone. You were not the only reason for letting go, but you were in the top 2.

All of the other safety nets just fell away naturally. I don’t need them anymore, even if you can’t catch me, I’ll just fall and land eventually, it’s alright.

I thought about letting you go. That is what happened in front of the church. I knew what was happening and I got scared, I am sorry. The truth is, I have been looking for you for a really long time.

Remember when I said ‘it’s like walking into a wading pool when you know what the ocean feels like’.

I wrote that about you. 3 weeks before I said it.

You are the ocean.



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