Red Flags and Pompoms

April 28, 2015


Someone needs to write a ‘how to date in the age of interwebz’ in meme form or video or something easily absorbed by our tiny attention spanned generation.

It should read like the Buddha meme that says ‘try not to be a cunt’.

Rule #1 no dick pics.
Yes boys, we all know you like seeing our bits, but women aren’t wired the same and an unfiltered photo of your cock…not fun for us.

We need to a) bring back the concept of the Scarlet Letter and b) start being honest about who we are and what we want.

Everyone is so concerned about pairing up No one is presenting their true selves or their actual intentions.

It’s kinda like wandering into McDonalds and expecting steak because you are wearing a ball gown.

Is there something wrong with saying, “hey I got really hurt so I’m scared of commitment” and hooking up with someone who either a) has the same experiences or b) a compatible mindset i.e. someone who is busy and/or patient?
You have to wear a red “CC” for commitment challenged, and I get a crimson “MT” for Mother Teresa.

Yesterday I got a call from my man-friend who said, “I need your help interpreting this behaviour from my new partner”. Long story short, she is the kind of girl who doesn’t actively participate in relationships, with anyone. She is a sit back live her own life see you when I see you kind of girl. He is a check in, jump through hoops, tells you when he is thinking of you kind of guy. It’s hurting him and bothering her.
He gets a ruby “II” for in it, she gets a cherry “LWB” for laid way back.

My girl goes on Tinder dates and blogs about the bad ones. I would laugh if I didn’t love her. The last one neglected to tell her he was married until 2 drinks in the first time they met up. Another one sent her a dick pic from the bathroom. I said I before and I will say it again, no dick pics. Explain to me how they got that far in without showing their true colours. How hard is it to say ‘this is what I am’.

I tried the up front and honest thing.
I was rather adamantly single for the last year.
I still wanted to go on dates, just didn’t want to get put back on lock down (right away).
I had Sunday. Who was exactly what I needed for a while, an adult, no strings, no issues, just honest.
I didn’t lie about him and gave him the respect he deserved.
That didn’t exactly work in my favour, it made me seem disposable.
When truth be told, I am fucking irreplaceable.
So I stopped seeing Sunday. After a very honest conversation with him about why.

“When you lie to someone about who you are or what you want, you aren’t protecting them, you are protecting yourself from their reaction” BBP

Am I panicking a little, well ya. But not enough to sign up for Tinder (yet) or lie or string someone along I have no intention of being with long term or pretend I don’t want to date someone long term when I do.

Wear your red flags with pride, someone is going to see them wave their own red flags back at you like matchy matchy pompoms and say “yes, I see you, all of you & I want to be with you AS IS”.






You Might Also Like

  • Dave R April 29, 2015 at 8:18 pm

    Well done. This story is really cool.

    • sexloveandgrace April 30, 2015 at 8:42 pm

      thank you 🙂

  • Casi Cielo April 28, 2016 at 11:47 am

    So sweet.

    I love it.

    Being upfront and honest has served me well.

    My friend said “they don’t know what to make of you…” Referring to a group of women I was waving down to come sit with us during salsa dancing.

    I said “I’m used to it.”

    It’s served me well.

    They didn’t come down. Turns out, they looked pretty but were boring as hell. Bullet dodged.

    • sexloveandgrace April 28, 2016 at 1:44 pm

      we just all have our tribes that we fit with, and neighboring tribes we can trade with…and then those ones from … god knows where.

    error: Content is protected !!