Se7en Exes & a Dick Move

January 7, 2017

I am/was about to launch into a post without doing my research.

Sounds like how I skated through high school/life, I absorbed exactly what I needed to spit it out like I knew what I was talking about. So a lot more than most, a lot less than what I was capable of. Unless I was interested in what we were studying then I ate it up voraciously.

If I tried like 10% harder …Jesus, hold that thought. That is a post unto itself.

This one has to do with Rob Brezsny, Scott Pilgrim and my 7 deadly exes.

I jumped over to Imdb.com and watched the previews, read the reviews and now I kinda wanna watch it.

Also, when your guru/own personal Jesus links your astrological future love life long term horoscope to a movie you have never seen. It’s time to watch it.

I did.

Started the above at 6pm, its 6am the following morning now.

I am awake, in the dark watching the sky turn purple with lightning strikes.
Doing unpleasant math in my head.
add 2 Mikes
plus Sam
and Jeremy
and the Giant
Sadly, for this math to work I have to add the shitty fake solja boy who really is the only evil one of them all…carry the one.
Yep, 7.
Wait, the Poet. Minus fake solja boy = seven.
Poet for the save. Thanks baby.

I don’t count the ones from before. I wasn’t me then. They were dating a ghost in a shell.

Truth be told these ones don’t really count either, we were never official. I was happier at the time with all of them, except fake solja boy, than I ever have been in the history of me. So there is that then.

I have always been as bad at math as I am at relationships.

Always adding, rarely subtracting.




That is a metric shit tonne of love.

Part one of my expanded horoscope gave me cart blanche to pull, nay perfect a ‘dick move’.


Gemini gymnast Marisa Dick has created a signature move that has never been used by any other gymnast. To start her routine, she leaps up off a springboard and lands on the balance beam doing a full split. The technical term for this bold maneuver is “a change-leg leap to free-cross split sit,” although its informal name is “The Dick Move.” The International Federation of Gymnastics has certified it in its Code of Points, so it’s official. During the coming months, I expect that you will also produce one-of-a-kind innovations in your own sphere. 

Do unto others as you would have done to you. Does this mean I can do unto others what has been done to me? I don’t think I could ever be that cold, cruel or callous.

Part two inspired this article


The fictional character Scott Pilgrim is the hero of Bryan Lee O’Malley’s series of graphic novels. He becomes infatuated with a “ninja delivery girl” named Ramona Flowers, but there’s a complication. Before he can win her heart, he must defeat all seven of her evil ex-lovers. I’m sure your romantic history has compelled you to deal with equally challenging dilemmas, Gemini. But I suspect you’ll get a reprieve from that kind of dark melodrama in 2017. The coming months should be a bright and expansive chapter in your Book of Love.

“Before you hear any dirty lies from someone else, yes, it’s true, I am dating a 17 year old.”

Brief synopsis of the movie. Scott Pilgrim has a girlfriend (see above), and while out with her sees the girl of his dreams. Literally he dreamt her.

He convinces his dream girl to hang out and is then subjected/expected to battle her 7 evil exes.

The fights play out in arcade game fashion.

He has a gory trail of exes behind him as well.

He juggles the two girls at first, but it works out in the end.

It’s entertaining. The film style itself was strange. Worth watching though. The dialog is witty, characters are well played. It’s eye/ear/heart candy.

SP: I couldn’t stop thinking about stupid my ex

Wallace: Just because Envy is back in town doesn’t make it not over

SP: Double negative, it’s tricky.

It’s not tricky. What’s done is done.

Juggling 2 is a dick move but apparently I get a free pass.

There is nothing for a potential partner to fight. I have to do all that myself.

2am ‘wyd’ texts must be deleted and go unanswered, unheeded, unnoticed.

He loses the first battle royale at the end and ends up using a one up extra life to go back and do it again. The parallels are abundant.

On the second chance he pulls the sword of self-respect.

I think that is the key.

The female protagonist is worth modeling myself after. She gives very few fucks, is witty, confident and strong. Has that ‘take me as I am or watch me go’ attitude I never learned to master. She also does a big life move/career change to get away from her past. They follow her anyways but in the end they are gloriously defeated. Even the big bad ex who put a chip in her head to control her behavior. She removes it herself with little effort.

His game? Over.


I think I’m ready to play.









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